


I should use my heart (I should use my heart less)

by aryablakes



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Heartbreak, Kinda, Kissing, Lots of biting, No Sex, Seven Deadly Sins, Sexual Themes, all the non willow ships are just mentioned!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-24 02:48:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21331027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aryablakes/pseuds/aryablakes
Summary: Willow and the six people she's loved in her life.orWillow Rosenberg and the six deadly sins.
Relationships: Amy Madison/Willow Rosenberg, Angel/Buffy Summers, Cordelia Chase/Harmony Kendall, Cordelia Chase/Willow Rosenberg, Daniel "Oz" Osbourne/Willow Rosenberg, Faith Lehane/Willow Rosenberg, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Spike/Buffy Summers, Tara Maclay/Willow Rosenberg, Willow Rosenberg/Buffy Summers
Kudos: 13





	I should use my heart (I should use my heart less)

**Author's Note:**

> heyo! all these sections were based off the seven deadly sins, but its not too heavy? i dont think anyway. i hope u enjoy!!

Willow knew that wasn’t something most other girls were allowed to do.

‘That’ meaning go over to Cordelia Chase’s house, and make out with her.

She was Willow’s first girl crush, and second crush overall, she made her feel like she was flying any time they were together.

Willow should’ve known it wouldn’t end well.

Willow Rosenberg, 13, experienced her first heartbreak, when she went over to Cordelia’s house one spring afternoon.

Walking up to Cordelia’s house, on invitation.

She walked up the stairs at the front of the house and knocked, but no one answered, so she tried the door, and it was open.

Walking in, “Hello?”

No response.

Willow was started to get confused, she walked up the stairs and saw something she never wanted to see.

Cordelia and Harmony, kissing, on Cordelia’s bed.

Willow felt her heartbreak.

She should have known, she should have known, she cursed herself mentally.

Cordelia was too greedy to just want one, Willow felt hurt flow through her veins.

She knew she would never go back to that house.

She knew this would never come back to bite Cordelia, no one knew about them, just like no one was supposed to know about her and Harmony, or any of Cordelia's possible other women.

Willow felt hot tears fall down her face at a fast pace.

She ran out of the house without making a noise, making sure no one saw her go.

(One day after that, Cordelia passed Willow a note, ‘wanna come over tonight’. Willow tore it up in front of her eyes, cementing her future in Sunnydale high.)

\---------------------------------------------------  
“I’m not so sure about this, Buf.”

Buffy smiled at Willow, leaning closer to her, placing her hands on Willow’s shoulders, face next to hers, and Willow would be lying if she said she didn’t feel anything.  


“Willow, you look great.”

Willow locked eyes with Buffy, she was back for senior year, and Willow hadn’t felt so happy in a long time.

Buffy smiled at her, again, and kissed her quickly.

Willow felt shocked, her lips were chapped,- something she hadn’t expected from Buffy, and tasted of cherry.

Willow felt as though it was the best thing she’d tasted.

Buffy pulled back from her, “See! That’s how amazing you look, you even got me after you.”

Willow felt the warmth leave her body, it wasn’t something real, but she wouldn’t let Buffy know that, it wasn’t a big deal, she had a boyfriend, she didn’t need to like someone else.

“Shouldn’t-, Angel?”

Buffy’s smile faltered, “Willow, he doesn’t need to know everything, we’ve both kissed other people since, it’s not a big deal.”

Willow suddenly felt very envious of Angel, before remembering that she didn’t think they were an ‘open’ relationship.

Willow was just feeling confused after that, they were dating, but they kissed other people, consensually? She would never understand.

(Until Willow remembered that she was in a relationship, and kissed someone else, and she liked it. She felt more understanding than she thought she should. Oz would never know about this, she decided, as she locked the memory away in her head, to not think about anymore.)

\---------------------------------------------------  
“Hey.”

Willow snapped her head up, surprised, turning to look at Oz, he had just woken up but Willow thought he looked the most handsome like this.

“Hi.” she said, smitten.

He smiled at her, leaned in and kissed her, lazily.

She smiled into the kiss, her hands finding purchase on his nude torso.

He smelled like grass and soap, and she loved it, it was the best scent to her.

Pulling back from her, Oz laid back in bed, comforter falling down to his hips.

“Oz,” Willow started, getting out of bed, quickly pulling her pajamas back on, “we have to get to class. Come on.”

She held out her hands to him.

He just smiled, “What would I do without you.”

She smiled back at him, “You’d probably sleep all through class, and flunk.”

He laughed with her at her joke, they both knew she wasn’t serious.

Taking her hands, Oz pulled himself out of bed, and into her arms, giving her one more long kiss, before they went to get ready for class.

(Willow secretly knew that her little ‘joke’, earlier in the day would’ve been the truth had she not been there for him, and she hoped she always was. She knew his life was better for it.)

\---------------------------------------------------  
Willow gasped as Faith’s teeth sunk into her neck, starting at her pulse point and going all the way down.

Short breaths coming out of her mouth, she gripped Faith’s hair, hard.

“Jesus, Red, who knew you’d be into hair pulling.” Faith said with a playful lilt to her voice, before putting her lips back on Willow.

Willow just glared,- well, glared as much as you can, when someone is doing _that_.__

_ _Faith just laughed at her attempt to glare, running her fingers up and down Willow’s stomach, “So, Will,” She started, mimicking the way Buffy said Willow’s name, “do you think,” she paused again, biting down around her collar bone, hard, “I’m hotter like this, or when I was all dressed up as Buffy.” She said, evil glint shining in her eyes._ _

_ _Seeing red, Willow sat up fast, flipping them over, but still sitting up, turned Faith’s head to the side, hard, and bit her neck._ _

_ _Willow swore she saw blood._ _

_ _Faith groaned, loud, and flipped them back over, she started biting Willow again, this time on her legs, “I never would’ve guessed you had that in you, Red.”_ _

_ _Willow knew sex wasn’t all, happiness and rainbows, she’d learned that when Anya kept oversharing about her and Xander, but Willow had never felt anything this, _angry_, during sex before.___ _

_ _ _ _She decided she liked it._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _(And if Willow saw stars when Faith, finally, went between her legs, that was her business.)_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _\---------------------------------------------------  
“You make me melt, Low.” Amy said, lips sliding against Willow’s, open mouthed and hot, “And I’m not even into girls.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Magic changes a lot for people, Amy.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Amy pulled her lips off Willow’s neck, tracing the spot where Harmony bit her with her tongue briefly, “Did it change you?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Willow felt herself go stiff, she hadn’t ever told anyone about her ‘realization’, she never wanted to relive those memories again._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She ignored the question and pulled Amy up into her mouth._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Willow finally felt herself relax a little bit when Amy pulled her shirt off, and laid Willow down on her bed, and kissed her._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She could practically feel the lust radiating off of Amy, it was sinful, and Willow loved every second of it._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Amy groaned into her mouth, “This is amazing,” She paused, making a small hickey on Willow’s neck, “and we haven’t even gotten to the good part, yet.” She finished with a wink._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _(Willow knew in her mind that nothing would feel as good as Tara by her side, but tried to whip her own mind of it, in the moment. She didn’t feel bad at all that she had to force herself not to yell Tara’s name when she finished, not at all.)_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _\---------------------------------------------------  
“Do you want mine?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Tara looked up from her food, it was her first week back in the house, Willow understood her eating her feelings away, they couldn’t spend every second together in bed._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Tara blushed when she realized why Willow asked, and shook her head slightly, hair falling over her eyes._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“You don’t have to be embarrassed, baby, it’s okay.”, Willow said, understanding her girlfriends gluttonous tendances._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Tara smiled at Willow, picking at her pasta with her fork, “I think I’m tired.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Okay, well, let’s go to bed then.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Tara looked at Willow, who was smiling, and felt a smile break out onto her face, happiness filling her._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Placing her hand over Tara’s and interlocking them, Willow lead them up the stairs and into their room, and the end of the hall._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _As they got ready for bed, Willow felt genuine joy fill her, “Hey, Tara?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Tara looked up and locked eyes with her, “Yeah?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I love you, I’m glad you’re back.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Tara smiled at her, it was bright and beautiful and Willow just knew she looked the same as her, “I love you too, I’m glad I got to come back.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Willow felt her smile lessen, briefly, “You will always have a place here, Tara, always.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _(They slept curled together that night, it was the first night since they got back together that they didn’t have sex beforehand, and Willow knew this was better, the simple intamacey of sleeping with someone, without anything else, was something Willow had been missing. She felt the happiest she had in a long time.)_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _\---------------------------------------------------  
Willow smiled to herself, her hand interlocked with Tara’s, as they walked around Sunnydale, feeling pride in herself._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She did this._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Well, not Willow directly, but indirectly, this was her, without her, Spike wouldn’t have had the space to do what he did._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Willow knew Buffy felt sick because of that, the thought of her and Spike even the previous year, felt far away and fake, but now, she wanted him to come back, so Buffy wasn’t sad anymore._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _But that feeling didn’t last very long, as Willow felt so happy with herself._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She kissed Tara on the lips, and they both stared at the gaping pit that was Sunnydale, “We did that.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Tara smiled at her, hand waving around, “No, Willow.” She said, hugging Willow, “This was all you, baby.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Willow smiled and kissed her hand, walking back over to the group, she heard the tailend of them talking about moving to Cleavland, but she wasn’t worried, she had Tara, and herself._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _(Willow felt herself shine, she used magic, and saved the world, she knew she could count on herself again, and that made her heart swell with pride.)_ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> title is heartless by madison beer
> 
> feel free to leave a comment if u want to!
> 
> u can check out my tumblr [here!](http://aryablakes.tumblr.com/) if you wanna dm or send me an ask those are open too!


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